Beauty 4 Moms

I'm thrilled to have my friend Penelope share a post with you today! I'll let her get to it...

I'm a big believer that a good marriage is the foundation of a strong family, and that a couple that has a healthy marriage will have happier lives. I write about happy marriage tips on my site Penelope's Oasis, and am also a proponent of a covenant marriage, which has as its basic premise that marriage is a beautiful union between two people that should be respected by both, worked on, and held in high esteem. Every marriage goes through seasons of change, periods of hardship, but if you are Christian and married a great person, you probably want your marriage to weather the storms and last forever. Here are four tips for Christian Marriages that I hope you appreciate and enjoy:

The foundation of a good Christian Marriage

1. God is the center of the marriage, and the center of the family If you, your desire for nicer things, your friends, your job, or anything else come first, your family and marriage will suffer for it. If you are a family the remembers God, prays together, strives to be better people together, this alone will motivate you to always want to keep your marriage and family intact, and when you are already following Christian teachings (fasting, praying, tithing, etc) you automatically understand the concept of compromise and sacrifice that is often necessary in making a marriage work for a lifetime.

2. You put your marriage first You are not just you anymore. When you became married, you and your husband became one, and your life goals and plans must be made together. When you make plans without each other, don't consult each other for major life decisions, or put other things first (like your parents, your job, your needy best friend), you are tearing asunder something that God has joined (and no one, including you, has the right to do this). When you allow others to come between you, to turn one of you against the other, or worst of all, to make you prefer them over your spouse, you are committing a serious sin (and in essence, hurting yourself). This is a very challenging idea, because many of us have a hard time disappointing our parents or a boss for our spouse, but just as it's often hard to put God first when life becomes hectic, we still have to, and we have to put our spouse before others too.

3. Follow Scripture and trust in God Even if your spouse seems to be doing their own thing. If you married a man that doesn't do things the way you like, sometimes this is a great way to grow as a Christian. We can't change people, we can only inspire them. One of the most important characteristics of a Christian wife is patience, and if you find your husband is doing things that make your head scratch, it's a great opportunity to grow closer to God by simply accepting your husband's quirks, and praying. He may be doing the right things, but getting to the same destination via an unusual road, or he may have to go through some fine-tuning with God on his own, but by being a supportive and loving wife who prays for her husband and wants the best for him, it often inspires a man to get there, faster, and he'll probably be a better man and husband because of his travels and challenges. When you don't understand what your husband it doing, just respect him (as Scripture says to) and trust God. It's incredible how things work out when you do.

4. Honor your marriage Today it's especially hard to prevent outside influences from assailing the marriage bond. From a society that doesn't really respect the concept of marriage, to individuals who may actively seek to break you up, and a media that is filled with unbiblical ideas about sex and marriage, it is not only often hard to honor your marriage, you are sometimes even mocked for it. Those who are divorced or live together are especially not understanding of couples who have rules about what is considered appropriate contact with members of the opposite sex, or what is ok to do while married. While of course you wouldn't want to judge others (unless you've been in their shoes, you don't know why they made the choices they've made), this doesn't mean you should lower your standards or look to appease others with different opinions at the expense of honoring your marriage to the highest degree. Your friends may think it's ridiculous that you won't "innocently" flirt with men, or your boss may be annoyed that you aren't a "team player" because you won't stay after work for happy hour with your co-workers, but you don't want a marriage like everyone else has, so you can't be a wife like everyone else is. If you want a marriage that is truly beautiful, and a spouse that honors you, you have to maintain standards that keep it there, no matter what.

What do you think is important for a strong marriage? If you have tips to share, I'd love to hear them, or hear feedback on the ideas I shared.

Melanie Chitwood, Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and the author of "What a Husband Needs from His Wife" and "What a Wife Needs from Her Husband" will be hosting a two-part conference call beginning next week!

Building a Marriage that Will Last a Lifetime

We all hope our marriage will last forever, but what are we doing today to ensure that happens? A marriage that will stand strong in good times and stressful times requires a choice each day to invest our best in our marriage. This two-part conference call will provide practical tools and will renew your desire to build a better marriage.

Taking lessons from her own marriage and God's word, Melanie will focus on how to:

I'm excited to share this guest post from one of my favorite writers! Tammy is the owner of Garden Glimpses and a guest contributor at Heart of the Matter. Enjoy!

Diamonds and marriage go together. Having recently celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary, I glanced at the diamond wedding band on my hand and smiled. It is not my original wedding ring as years of wear and tear managed to damage the delicate band and diamond to a point of no return. The sturdy brilliance of my replacement ring represents our years of committed marriage with all its ups and down.

When we marry, our lives together represent a diamond in its natural form. Not always pretty, but definitely full of potential. Our marriages can be compared to the four qualities that are looked for when shopping for a diamond ring: color, clarity, carat, and cut.

Diamond color: The degree to which a diamond is colorless. The less color, the higher the rating.

How can a marriage become colorless when you combine two very colorful people? Does it mean we become plain, bland, and dull? No, not at all. In fact, I think it can mean quite the opposite. Through the years the two blend together to become a wonderful well working one. A husband and wife team that have learned the value of unity and endeavor to be their best as they balance the strengths and weaknesses of one another with God at the center of their lives. Like a prism that looks colorless, yet when God’s light shows through their relationship the multi-colors are revealed.

Diamond clarity: The presence of natural phenomena called inclusions which are the tiny feathers, crystals, or clouds only seen under high magnification. Flawless diamonds have no inclusions on the surface or internally. Many flawed diamonds still maintain their integrity with no visible inclusions.

How can a marriage become flawless when you combine two imperfect people? The reality is that none of us will become perfect, but we certainly can maintain integrity as we allow God to look at our flaws and allow Him to help us with those things that may cloud our marriage. When it comes to marriage, a good test to see how your are doing it is to read through a familiar wedding Scripture – I Corinthians 13:1-10 using your name in place of the word LOVE. It’s easy to see our shortcomings and yet as you consider the end of that passage, when God who is perfection is part of our lives the imperfections disappear as we apply grace over and over again to one another.

Diamond carat: The unit of weight of a diamond, not size. One carat can be divided into 100 points. Value rises with weight.

What adds weight to a marriage? There are many factors that can add solidity to our marriages. Making simple connections with one another in the midst of busy homeschooling lives is critical. It’s easy to put our children first, but the value of putting our spouses first is worth 100 points. Simple acts of kindness such a a little note in his lunch, making sure his favorite clothes are clean and ready, a loving voice message. Reading about our love languages and applying those gifts to each other or engaging in a study such as Love & Respect which has wonderful marriage principles to apply. Time spent one-on-one is truly priceless and builds the weight of intimacy in a marriage relationship.

Diamond cut: The angle and proportions of a cut will determine the diamond’s fire and brilliance. The shape and how well the cutting has been executed will also influence the cut.

What trials have shaped your marriage? It is well known that all marriages will have conflict in some manner. The key, however, is how we will allow these to affect our relationship with one another. Will we allow the angle of the cuts to destroy or to be a healing cut of pruning that we can grow from? Keeping God centered and relationship focused will execute healthier cuts during difficult times. Marriages will flourish and become stronger if both partners are willing to become humble and speak those difficult words of “I’m sorry” or “Forgive me” adding a dimension of brilliance to their relationship.

My husband and I have a long way to go to our Diamond Anniversary, yet we are both willing to consider the color, clarity, carat, and cut of our marriage to allow it more polishing as our Heavenly Father works in our relationship. May all of our marriage relationships continue to grow and flourish with our Heavenly Father’s love as that truly is the Heart of the Matter.

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from preschool age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.

Now, I haven't ever talked about s-e-x on this blog but I am going to today. You are probably wondering if a Christians ever talk about sex out loud and yes we do....it's allowed! : )

Having said that, if you are a family member of mine, easily creeped out or under the age of 18 than please skip this post. Thank you :) Please note that there are links in this post that lead to adult-only content (not evil or wrong, but definitely not appropriate for children).

When I was given the chance to do a review for Eden Fantasys my response was yes! I was thrilled for the opportunity to try out a online adult store. I know that God wants us to enjoy our spouses and we can all use a little help now and then in that area, right? I don't know about you but just the idea of walking into an adult store kind of weirds me out. While I have never actually been in one, (no really, I haven’t) I just envision them being dark and dirty with creepy guys hanging out there. That's a total stereotype I know, but I can’t help it. Plus, I think a purchase like this should be a bit more private. Don't even mention walking down that small section of an isle at Walmart, that's incredibly awkward. So personally, I would prefer an online adult store like Eden Fantasys.

Eden Fantasys has a HUGE range of items: everything from massage oils and lingerie (even plus size!) to sex toys and vibrators for the more adventurous.

I thought this bedside kit looked lovely...

I found their website to be tastefully done. Even though they are selling adult toys it wasn't done in a strange, creepy-back-alley sort of a way. Not everything on the site will be to everyone's liking, it certainly isn't all for me, but I am sure that every couple could find something to enhance their love life.

Aren't these his & her candles nice?

Eden Fantasys is also very user friendly, even for the rather inexperienced. The search feature on the site is awesome! As you are searching you can check off features that you want and it will narrow down your results. It really makes shopping a whole lot easier. Eden Fantasys ships everything discretely in plain brown or white packaging and they don't even put "Eden Fantasys " anywhere on the box or label. How nice is that?